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Women On Work

Squeal of Fortune!

This is a game I’m going to post every now and again. Basically it’s kind of like Wheel of Fortune, sans Vanna White, Pat Sajak and cash and prizes. And contestants and a wheel. And a studio audience.

Below I’m putting a sentence with some letters left blank and a clue. The first person to correctly fill in the blanks in the comments section wins. I’ll post their name tomorrow if there is one and they can squeal for joy and/or like a pig.

Okay, here’s the clue (no fair Googling!):

John Beverly was a musician who really lived up to his stage name. Name his stage name and the band he played for (the black dots represent missing letters.)

Stage Name:
•I•   •IC••US

The Band:
T••   •E•    •I••O•S

Welcome to Monday’s Show!

Hello and welcome to the Monday edition of The Marty Wombacher Show. I hope you had a good weekend, personally I’m not awake yet, so if this makes no sense, that’s why.

I’ve got a great show for you today! Our in house artist, “Boris” did the Home Page art and it’s a great one, shows what a jerk off I really am! Thanks, “Boris!” We’ll have all the usual updates starting with a brand new Daily Photo and then Condensed Gossip. Multiple updates at fishwrap and right here at the Daily Post. I’ve got the Squeal of Fortune coming up, I’m going to try and go out and see if anyone is game for a Dog Day Afternoon photo and there’s going to be a lot of other crap, trust me. So drink whatever the fuck you need to drink and wake up, goddammit! Check back often and remember to look at the red links at the bottom of the Home Page for current updates. Happy times!

Daily Video

Little Village

I posted this clip on facebook yesterday and was amazed at how many people had never heard of this band. To me it’s a true supergroup, although I hate that term. It’s Ry Cooder, Nick Lowe, Jim Keltner and John Hiatt, some of the best players and writers on this planet. And they got a one album deal that flopped. And Adam Lambert is on the cover of Rolling Stone. This is what’s wrong with the world people. I give you, Little Village and “She Runs Hot.” Happy Sunday!

God Poll

A God Poll

Let’s put our personal beliefs aside and pretend there really is a God who controls everything in the universe. I’ve put together a little poll and would appreciate it if you take it and list your answers below. It’s only six questions, so it won’t take you long. And please don’t deviate (and I know, we’re all deviates in one way or another, but you know what I mean) from my provided answers, but if you must, go ahead.

Here’s the poll.

1. Why did God create Tuberculosis?
A. He had a cold and decided, “If I’m going to be sick, then others will really be sick!
B. Jesus already invented Muscular Distrophy.
C. It rhymes with Halitosis.
D. Satan double-dog dared him to.

2. Speaking of Satan, who would win in a fight between God and Satan?
A. Only Howard Cosell would know, and he’s dead...of Tuberculosis I think! Or maybe Halitosis, who knows?
B. God would kick Satan’s ass back to the 10th ring of hell!
C. Satan would win because he would fight dirty and God can’t because he’s God and he’s a goody goody two shoes!
D. Even if Satan would win, God would keep turning the other cheek and this shit would go on and on longer than an extended remixed version of “Rapper’s Delight!”

3. Let’s say God really likes candy, so he decides to create a giant candy bar the size of an Australian billboard to eat. Which candy bar do you think God would prefer?
A. Nestle Crunch
B. Butterfinger
C. Snickers
D. Or perhaps God would create a bag of Skittles the size of Oprah’s ass when she’s in one of her many fat stages (and when isn’t she?)

4. If God had a human appearance who would he look like?
A. Meet George Jetson.
B. His Boy Elroy.
C. Daughter Judy.
D. Jane his wife.

5. God is kind of a boring name, pick one of the following, “flashier” names for our Supreme Ruler and Creator.
A. Uncle Charlie
B. Anne Murray
C. Ecuador
D. That symbol that Prince used when he was “enslaved” by a record company that paid him a shitload of money.

6. What do you think God does for relaxtion?
A. Bowls.
B. Watches “Kate and John Plus 8” and wonders if creating humanity was a mistake.
C. Goes to Long John Silver’s and enjoys a Treasure Chest Family Meal (and I’m talking the Super Treasure version, that’s 16 pieces and three sides! Now I know that’s a lot of eating, but we are talking God here!)
D. Su Doku

Welcome to the Sunday Show!

Welcome to the lazy-ass Sunday show. Once I shake off my hangover I’ll be posting some Religious Gossip, a God Blog (to further insure the fact I’m going straight to hell when I die) and then a Daily Video. Have a fun Sunday, Religious Gossip is up shortly, check the red update links on the Home Page. See you back here real soon!

Daily Video

Hamm’s Beer

I don’t know, if a fucking bear appears out of the sky when I’m drinking in a bar and gives me a briefcase of beer, I think I’ll finally check in to rehab. Till then, cheers and have a great Saturday night, everybody!

Do You Remember?

Do you remember...

Kick the can...

Running through the sprinkler...

Watching Saturday morning cartoons...

Your first day of school...

Your first kiss...

Pulling the wings off of a fly...

Your first trip to an abortion clinic...

Falling down and not being able to get up after smoking way too much PCP...

Sewing your best friends eyelid’s shut and then dipping him in turpentine...

Taking a baseball bat and using it to turn kindly Miss Jenkins into a bloody fucking mess...

Staring at the sun without blinking and turning your retinas into a fourth degree forest fire...

Human heads stored in the refrigerator...

Phil Collins’ neck hair...

Chuckles candy...

...Memories!

Saturday Poll