Well, we’re almost halfway through the working week. And I lost Mega-Millions last night which sucks dog-ass.
I’m kind of sleep-typing this, but soon I’ll be posting the Daily Photo, Condensed Gossip and fishwrap posts. Plus today I’m going out for another exciting edition of “Got Any Gum,” I’ll be posting about my cross-eyed Jesus, we’ve got the website of the week coming up and more, more lots.
Oh and today is our first Special Guest Star for the week! It’s Gary Pig Gold and I’ll announce when he makes his appearance this afternoon on The Marty Wombacher Show. He’ll make his appearance around two o’clock today and will be here for a week. Stop by and check out his story and pictures!
And in what’s becoming a daily tradition, today’s Home Page art is once again done by Photoshop Wizard/Artist, “Boris.” They just keep getting better and better “Boris,” excellent work! Thanks, Daddio!
Okay, so as you can see there’s a lot of show today, check back often and look to the red links at bottom of the Home Page for new updates! Time to guzzle a liter of diet Mountain Dew and get this show on the road!
I had a conversation at work today with two of my co-workers about how it’s fucking nuts that marijuana’s not legal. Think of the tax money it would bring in. Plus the cost of arresting people for possession and jailing people would be gone. It mystifies me why they just don’t legalize it.
This conversation led me to think about the first time I smoked pot and the drugs I did through the years. Here’s a short list (it would go on and on if I named them all) and my thoughts on the drug.
1. Marijuana. I first got high with my brother Jim and his friend Bob when I was 14-years-old. We smoked about three joints and I told them I didn’t feel anything. They just laughed at me and we went to a Convenient store to get something to eat. Walking in, I saw a kid I went to school with, tried to say hi, but couldn’t stop laughing. I literally ended up on the floor howling with laughter as my brother and Bob laughed at me and everyone else in the store looked at me like I was mental. I became a serious pothead for years after this.
2. Speed. My sophomore year I was introduced to speed by a friend and I loved it! I took it off and on for years, but when I turned 19 I moved out with friends and started taking it about three times a day. In about four months I had lost about twenty pounds, was drinking tons of beer and gin and ended up with a horrible case of mononucleosis. I had to move back into my parents house because I was so sick. I also found out you get physically addicted to speed and had the horrors of going through withdrawal from speed while sick as a dog with mono. I don’t think I’ve ever felt worse. I stopped doing speed after this.
3. Acid. I loved acid! I always had fun and never had a “bad trip.” When I say acid, this includes, LSD, windowpane, mescaline, barrel sunshine, blotter acid and other stuff I can’t remember, probably because I took so much acid! One of my favorite acid trip stories happened at Disneyland in Florida. After our senior year in high school I drove to Florida with some friends and we went to Disneyland and took acid. One of my friends had never done acid and he freaked out and we lost him at one point. We finally found him at a gift shop and he had spent all of his money on Mickey Mouse dolls! He had a huge bag of them and was just staring at them! We had to talk the girl there into giving him his money back. You had to be there, but it was hilarious. 4. Mushrooms. Mushrooms were the best! I took these whenever I could and laughed my ass off whenever I did. My friends and I used to take these before high school and the teachers wondered how pre-algebra and physical science could be so funny. 5. Seconals/downers. I only took these a few times. They’d make you feel and act like you were dead drunk, and I preferred to get to that place naturally, by drinking.
6. Hash and Thai sticks. I started smoking both of these around the same time as when I started smoking pot and always had a good time high on this stuff.
7. Cocaine. In the winter of 1980 I was drunk out of my mind at The Owl’s Nest Bar in Peoria, Illinois and a friend of mine came in and asked if I wanted to do some coke. I looked at him shocked and said, “Coke, isn’t that shit like heroin?” He told me it wasn’t addictive at all and it would straighten me out and it would feel like the night had just begun. We went to his truck I snorted two massive lines and it was unbelievable! It sobered me up somewhat and made me feel great. I thought I had found the miracle drug! About a year later after spending an entire weekend alone snorting coke and drinking mountains of beer, my brother came over, saw the weird shape I was in and told me I should knock this shit off and that people were talking about me. So I stopped doing it and that was tough. Even though it’s not physically addicting, mentally I really craved it and had cocaine dreams for over a year. A weird period in my life!
I pretty much stopped doing drugs around 1985 and that’s when I started writing. I had a blast doing drugs, other people I knew weren’t so lucky and either couldn’t quit, overdosed or ended up psychotic. Luckily, I was psychotic before I started taking them, so what did I have to lose?
While I am drug free these days, one vice still remains though, and that is beer! So cheers to you and yours and I’ll be back here around noon. Hope you come back then!
Here’s the first song made public off Cheap Trick’s new album, “The Latest.” It’s called “Sick Man of Europe,” which was also the band’s name before they became Cheap Trick. Here’s their biography at Rolling Stone: Cheap Trick Biography. If this song is any indication, this album should be great! It’s coming out June 23rd, mark your calendars or pre-order it using the link below.
Tomorrow I'm opening up the Guest Star page and welcoming, musician, producer, writer, storyteller and all around good guy, Gary Pig Gold! Check him out here: Gary's Website and remember to check back tomorrow tor read his hilarious tale of the day he was a session singer on a Pat Boone single. I'll announce it in the morning post.
We have a winner from yesterday’s Squeal of Fortune! The first one in with the correct answer was Joey D! Congratulations on the win Joey and thanks to Professor Dungpie, mrs5000, Gene, tiefighter25 and Biff for chiming in as well.
The correct answer was: Sid Vicious and The Sex Pistols.
Johnny Rotten is the one who coined the name Sid Vicious. It happened after John Beverly’s hamster named Sid bit him and Johhny Rotten (then known as John Lydon) said, “That Sid is really vicious!”
He joined the Sex Pistols after original bass player, Glen Matlock was fired. One of the reasons Matlock was fired was that he was an Abba fan! I always found that hysterical!
Sid was asked to join, more for his look and attitude and the fact that he was Johnny Rotten’s friend, than for his bass playing abilities. It’s always been debated if he ever did learn. Steve Jones plays all the bass on Never Mind The Bollocks, Here’s The Sex Pistols. Steve Jones has been quoted as saying, “"Sid was in a hospital with hepatitis so he couldn't really play, not that he could play anyway.”
Vicious joined the Sex Pistols in February of 1977 and was with them until the last concert in San Francisco on 14 January 1978.
Towards the end of the Sex Pistols run, Vicious hooked up with groupie/junkie Nancy Spungeon and it was all downhill from there. He stabbed her to death at the Chelsea Hotel in New York in a druggy, wuggy stupor, got thrown in jail, made bail and promptly overdosed on heroin and died. Oh well, at least he didn’t have to go back to jail.
So there you go. Congratulations on the win, Joey D and we’ll see you all next week on...SQUEAL OF FORTUNE!
It’s Tuesday which means Monday is officially over! One day closer to the next weekend. I’ve got a doozy of a show lined up today. I’ll announce the Squeal of Fortune winner, I’ll be answering other people’s mail in fishwrap, there’ll be some Condensed Gossip in a few minutes and in about fifteen seconds a brand new Daily Photo. And there’s some other crap I’ll be putting up as well, so check back often and look for the new updates on the Home Page.
And speaking of the Home Page, once again our in house artist “Boris,” has done a fantastic job on the artwork for today’s Home Page. Thanks, “Boris,” great work as always!
Happy Tuesday, everyone! Now it’s time for the elixir of the gods, DMD (diet Mountain Dew) Yafuckinghoo!
Tonight in my ongoing, patent pending “Master Boozer” series, I present, John Phillips of The Mamas and the Papas. When it comes to rock ‘n’ roll excess, most people think of Keith Richards, but I think John Phillips was the ultimate rock ‘n’ roll party god.
John Phillips formed the Mamas and the Papas in 1965 with his (fabulous babe) wife, Michelle Phillips, Denny Doherty and Cass Elliot. Phillips was definitely the leader of the band and he wrote all their hits and did the vocal arrangements. Like most bands from that era they were into acid, uppers, downers and all arounders. After the Mamas and the Papas split up he released a solo album that had a minor hit (the album was titled, John, The Wolf King of L.A. and it had the hit was the song “Mississippi.” He also became a full-blown heroin/coke/Dilaudid addict. All of this is documented in his book, “Papa John,” which is a great book.
So anyway, he ended up getting busted in the ‘80s for drug trafficking but managed to plea bargain a light sentence: One month in jail. It sounds like he got off easy, but if you’ve ever spent one night in jail, one month would suck pretty bad.
And now we come to where John Phillips earns his Master Boozer stripes. When he got sprung from the joint he discovered a new drug that can really get you fucked up and it’s legal! The drug: Booze, wonderful booze! Phillips started drinking like a Banshee with an unquenchable thirst and by 1992 he had blown out his liver. He did get a liver transplant, which is rough to get and he probably paid someone off to get it. Then he made the rounds and appeared in People magazine saying, “Kids, don’t do what I did. Drinking is bad!” I remember reading that thinking, “Ahh...what an asshole.” But I thought differently a few months later when his picture was in another magazine. The magazine was the National Enquirer and the picture was a photo of him drinking in a bar in Palm Springs! And while most people would’ve been a little embarrassed about this, Papa John went on the Howard Stern show and joked that he was “testing out the new liver.” Ya gotta love this guy! When you get a new liver, they tell you you can’t drink or it can go bad very quickly. Papa John took that advice, said, “Cheers,” and started drinking again!
Before he could ruin his second liver, John Phillips’ heart gave out and he died of heart failure on March 18, 2001.
So tonight I raise my can of Budweiser and salute Master Boozer, Papa John Phillips!
I’ll try to get today’s show on the road around noon today, I’ll see you then. As always, thanks for stopping by The Marty Wombacher Show! I appreciate it!
Triumph The Comic Insult Dog I love Triumph the Comic Insult Dog and I got to see him live a few years ago when he came out with a new CD called, “Come Poop With Me.” He was making an in-store appearance at Virgin Records in Time Square and was going to perform some songs from the CD with some of the members of Max Weinberg’s band from the old Conan O’Brien show. So naturally I went and there were signs all over saying this was an adult show and children should not be watching. Well, halfway into the show, some asshole strolled by carrying a boy who was about five-years-old on his shoulders and the boy says, “Look Daddy, a puppet show, let’s watch!” So they stop as a song was ending. Then Triumph said, “Alright people here’s a filthy song for all of you called, ‘Cats Are Cunts.’” You should’ve seen how fast that guy ran away with his kid! Hilarious!
Here’s Triumph at last year’s Republican National Convention.
A photostudy of Manhattan dogs walking their humans.
Today’s dog and human: Pierre and David.
Pierre was walking his human David up Sixth Avenue near 15th Street and they graciously agreed to pose for this week's Dog Day Afternoon. Even though Pierre has a French name, he’s actually English and a purebred named by David’s mother, who’s a dog breeder. Good doggie, Pierre!
Wednesday, June 17, 2009 at 11:59AM 
