Little Shop of You Know What...

Artwork and idea by "Boris."

Urban Whores

The Urban Dictionary is a website that is comprised of mainly slang words, phrases and slang meanings behind words. As you can imagine, if you type the word, “whore,” into their search engine, lots of things pop up, pun intended. Here’s some of my favorite Urban definitions of whore I found there. Check them all out here: Urban Dictionary: Whore definitions.

1. whore
A woman that sleeps with everyone but YOU!!!!!
SEE: SLUT - A woman that sleeps with everyone.
That whore wouldn't sleep with me.

2. Whore
Someone who does something excessively.
You camping whore!

6. Whore
(1) A term used by people who sleep around to insult someone who doesnt; as for an act of jealousy.
(2) A woman who is paid for sexual services.
(1) OMG i hate her she is such a whore!
(2) Hey whore! How much?

15. whore
A slut with good business sense and financial responsibility.
"That slut just asked me to pay her for last night!"
"Hey man, chill out and show some respect - that's a whore!"
"Oh, I didn't even realize... Now I feel bad."

18. whore
An individual who compromises his or her principles for personal gain.
I'm an open source developer who works for Microsoft. Sure they may be evil, but they give me a six figure sallary.

You corporate whore.

True.

19. whore
one who steals apples
You whore give me my apple back

21. Whore
A chick who is normally unconscious, as two men insert a wine bottle into her ass.
Guy 1: Hey she looks like a whore.

Man 1: ya I think she'd like a wine bottle in her ass.

Whore: mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm!

36. whore
mans best friend, simple as that
Dave: did you see that whore on the street?
Fred: HELL YEAH!!!

39. Whore
A dental hygeinist
All dental hygeinists are whores...it's a known fact.

51. whore
katie who lives in my dorm
You whoar. Hahahaha. Whore.

69. whore
someone who sleeps with people for money and/or other things
"That whore charges 30$ to tickle your balls from behind."

72. whore
your mother.
your mother is a whore.

78. Whore
Another word for a hole when its in your sock
You have a whore in your sock.

94. Whore
A whore is someone who sleeps, fucks and farts
The rudimentary definition of a whore encompasses three main characteristics: sleeping, fucking and farting on a regular basis. Other definitions of whores may encompass more specific aspects of the whore's lifestyle but the three main criteria must be present in order to accurately define the whore.
-Anonymous Sexual Sociology Professor

102. whore
somthing used to describe a giant bag of weed when they fuck up ur coffee
bitch! learn how to make coffee you stupid whore

We Interrupt Whore Thursday To Bring You This Special Announcement!

Zioum Zioum the Chainsaw has restarted her chainsaw and her blog. Zioum over and check it out, lots of fun and mad things and maybe even a Jesus Hole or two! Just click here: Zioum Zioum Blog!

The Daily Special

Artwork and idea by Jaws the Cabbie.

An Incomplete and Random List of Whores

Mary Worth
Miss Hathaway
Eva Braun
Howard Sprague
Pokey
Sarah Palin
Morley Safer
Jon
& Kate
Lovey Howell
Philip Michael Thomas
Virgin Mary
Spiro Agnew
Jim Belushi
John Travolta
Abraham Lincoln
Jackie Stallone
George Foreman
Ricky Ricardo
Portia de Rossi
Babe Ruth
Ed McMahon
Debbie Rowe
Doc Severinson
Shemp
Sean Lennon
Miley Cyrus
Totie Fields
Anybody that’s been a lead singer for Journey and isn’t Steve Perry
Blake Fielder-Civil
Topo Gigio
Jughead
Dane Cook
Jimmy Nicol
Brook Shields’ Mother
D'arcy Wretzky
Richard Pryor (See: The Toy, Superman, etc.)
Vanna White
Pebbles
Christopher Ciccone
Michael Lohan
Dina Lohan
Lindsay Lohan
Linus
Frank Stallone
Tonto
Dave Coulier
Robert DeNiro (Remember Bullwinkle the movie?)
Babe Ruth
Ward Cleaver
Lumpy Rutherford
Whoever is playing guitar and drums with KISS now.
General Patton
Aunt Jemima
The Ty-D-Bol Man
Carol Merrill
Bill Clinton
Kevin Eubanks
Bob Eubanks
Flavor Flav
Ringo Starr (Pizza Hut commercial)
LaToya Jackson
Michael Jackson
Bubbles the Chimp
Ross Perot
Buffalo Bob
Potsy
Lorna Doone
Alan Thicke
Jill Gibson
Mahareshi Mahesh Yogi
Allen Klein
Joe Piscopo
Houdini
Jackie Martling
Elton John
Betty Crocker
Mr. Whipple
The Jolly Green Giant
Charles Rocket
Jerry Seinfeld
Junior Samples
Kendra Wilkinson
Eric Roberts
P. Didddy
Anna Nicole Smith
Chyna Doll
Courtney Love
Jerry Van Dyke
The Pillsbury Dough Boy
Tonya Harding
Andy Richter
Carson Daly
Joe “Mama” Besser
Tara Reid
Tarot Card
Carrot Top
Gary Coleman
Stephen Baldwin
Chef Boy Ar Dee
Jerry Springer
The Rolling Stones
Stephen King
Rona Barrett
The Galloping Gourmet
Rachael Fucking Ray
Oprah
Tipper Gore
Aunt Bea
The entire population of Mt. Pilot
Shanna Moakler
Murray Wilson
Larry Birkhead
Keanu Reeves
Dad (the root beer maker)
Heather Mills
Mr. French
Jim Carrey
Screech
The Keebler Elves
Emeril Lagasse
John Oates
The Oompa Loompas
Kelly Ripa
Robby Benson
Capt’n Crunch
Jefferson Starship
Dino
Desi
And Billy
Dick Clark
Reuben Kincaid
Martha Stewart
Alan Lockwood
The Real World Las Vegas Cast
Gallagher
Count Chocula
Anyone that’s ever married Larry King
Cousin Brucie
Marty Wombacher

To Whores!

Whore Thursday!

If it’s Thursday it must be theme day and I am happy as Charlie Sheen in a room filled with skanked out Heidi Fleiss Girls to announce that it is Whore Thursday!

That’s right TMWS will be whoring itself out all day long! I’ve got some great whore posts coming up. There’s Urban Whore definitions, Humor in Whores, a Whore List, Whores for Sale, Whore Humor From The Internet, both “Boris” and Jaws the Cabbie have come up with special Whore art just for this day and a whole lot more Whore all through the day.

And speaking of “Boris,” he did a great job whoring up those Barbie dolls on the Home Page! I just hope their pimp Ken doesn’t find out, I’ve heard he’s one rough motherfucker! And “Boris” is happy to whore out his art talents and is available for freelance work be it website art, logos, CD cover design, retouching or whatever you need. Just send me an email and I’l forward it to our resident artist, “Boris.”

Alright time to put this Whore show out on the sidewalk and show off our wares and tears. The Daily Photo is next and then a special Whore edition of Condensed Gossip.

Stay tuned or check the links at the bottom of the Home Page. Oh, and if you are leaving, put a fifty on the nightstand, this is the Whore edition after all!

Closing Credits

Produced, directed and written by Marty Wombacher

Theme song and announcer: Slim Volume

Resident artist: “Boris”

Contributing Writers (Comments section, listed in order of comment):
“Boris”
Professor Dungpie, Fountainhead of Enlightenment!
grompf
Zioum Zioum the Chainsaw
biff
Jason Hwang
Joey D
Gene1
Aleksandra

Thanks for tuning in and contributing everyone, we’ll see you tomorrow at THE MARTY WOMBACHER SHOW!

Daily Video

Dino

I put up a Frank Sinatra video the other night and I decided to put up another member of the Rat Pack, Dean Martin.

For me, Dino was the coolest of the Rat Pack. Notice his comment about his cigarette in the video!

One of my favorite Dean Martin stories is the last performance he did with Jerry Lewis, back when they were a comedy/singing duo. They were hugely successful and everyone wanted them to go on forever, but Dino said he had had enough when they were at their pinnacle of success and fame. After they did their last gig at the Copacabana, Jerry Lewis told Dean that he loved him. Dean retorted with the following: “Kid all you ever were to me was a fucking dollar sign.” Ha ha ha! The king of cool!

Here’s Dino.

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