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Sunday
May102009

Daily Video

Bling Baby Bling!

it’s doubtful this Jello ad would see the light of day today, even though it is all about the bling these days. For some reason, it really cracks me up. Enjoy!

Bling Baby Jello

Sunday
May102009

Good Morning...

Saturday
May092009

Daily Video

NRBQ!

I love NRBQ and if you don’t then you’re just crazy-ass nuts and I really have to wonder about you. This is one of my favorite NRBQ songs, and even though this video is one of those cheesy homemade jobs on YouTube, I still like it. It’s kind of like taking a road trip, with NRBQ on the stereo. Happy Saturday!

Ridin’ In My Car

Saturday
May092009

And Now...Some Leper Jokes



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Why aren’t there telethons for lepers?

Because Jerry Lewis thinks they’re gross and would rather hog all the money for his crippled “kids.”

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What did the Irish bartender say when he was told he had leperosy?

Motherfucker!

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What happened when the leper tried to lick the stamp?

The stamp remained dry because the leper’s tongue had fallen off the day before, so he had to rub it on the inside of his cheek to moisten the stamp. Then he successfully mailed the letter. Hooray for you Mr. Leper! Good for you.

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What did the Boy Scout say when the leper walked up to his troop’s campsite?

Hi Leper!

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How much does a leper prostitute charge for a blowjob?

An arm and a leg.

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One potato, two potato, three potato...leper!

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How many leper’s does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

A lot because their arms keep falling off and it’s really hard to screw in a light bulb with your feet, which may be falling off soon too. The life of a leper is rough stuff, and often lived in the dark! I’m sorry poor lepers! Boo hoo for you.

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A priest, a rabbi and a leper walk into a bar. After a drink, the priest and the rabbi walk out. The leper doesn’t because his legs have fallen off. Whoops-a-doozy, tootie froozy! Cheers Mr. Leper man. I’d buy you a drink if I was there, but I’m glad I’m not, because you’re a leper.

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Did you hear about the leper pickpocket?

Neither did I.

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A graduate with a science degree asks, “Why does it work?”

The graduate with an engineering degree asks, “How does it work?”

The graduate with an accounting degree asks, “How much will it cost?”

The leper asks, “Why me God, why me?” Over and over. And that shit gets old!

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A young leper with the unfortuate name of Johnny Fuckerfaster was fucking his girlfriend under the porch of his house. All of a sudden his mom came out on the porch and yelled, “Johnny Fuckerfaster, Johnny Fuckerfaster!” And Johnny Fuckerfaster yelled back, “I can’t mom, my dick just fell off.”

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Why did the leper cross the road?

Because his legs hadn’t fallen off yet.

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What do you call a leper who can suck a golf ball through fifty feet of garden hose?

A leper.

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“So what’s the news?” asked Fred when the doctor called with his test results.

“I have some bad news and some really bad news,” admitted the doctor. “The bad news is you only have about six months to live.”

“Oh my God,” gasped Fred, sinking to his knees. “What could be worse news than that?”

“You have leperosy,” The doctor told him.

“Motherfucker,” Fred said and then burst into sobs.

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There once was a leper from Nantucket,

Who’s pussy was as big as a bucket,

She was a leper,

She was a leper,

So, you know, aw fuck it.

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What’s the difference between E.T. and a leper?

E.T. wanted to phone home and a leper is just depressed that he or she is a leper.

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How can you tell when a leper’s girlfriend is having an orgasm?

Her ears fall off.

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Why are lepers like paper cups?

They’re really not, come to think of it. Sorry for asking.

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Saturday
May092009

An Old Press Clipping

A piece about my old magazine, POP in Spin magazine written by Mark Blackwell. Thanks Mark! Kurt's gone, but we're still here! Hoopah!

Saturday
May092009

I Slept In Today...

...Can you tell? Postings will be light as it's the weekend and I have to write my fishwrap material. I will be putting up new Condensed Gossip in a little bit and probably throw a few things up here, so check back and have a great weekend!

Saturday
May092009

Beer Frame

Well I made it through the first week! Thanks to everyone who stopped by and checked out the show! There'll be a few posts here and I'll update the Condensed Gossip over the weekend but that's going to be all. I need to write up my fishwrap material for next week. And you know what else I need? A motherfucking beer!

Cheers, everybody, have a great weekend,

Marty.

Friday
May082009

Daily Video

Andy Kaufman


I loved Andy Kaufman and this was one of my favoite bits by him, it was on the first Saturday Night Live, I believe. Sometimes his bits worked, like this one, or sometimes they bombed, but the cool thing about Andy Kaufman was you could tell he just did not care. This was a man clearly doing exactly what he wanted to do and didn’t give a fuck what anyone else thought. So, here comes Andy, to save the day!

Mighty Mouse

Friday
May082009

P.O. Box 395

In my very first post here, on Monday, I wrote that the show has its own P.O. Box and people are welcome to send anything in and I would feature it on the show every Friday. So today, after being bitterly disappointed by the fact that Duane Reade had no diet Mountain Dew, I anxiously trotted over to the P.O. Box.

I excitedly opened it and here's what I found:

Empty! Sob! Come on people, let's all get a little interactive here! Send me something for the show if you can and we'll all have fun. I really hope not to see my little P.O. Box all empty and sad next week!

Send anything to:

The Marty Wombacher Show
P.O. Box 395
New York, NY • 10113

Thanks!

Friday
May082009

Hi Asshole!

Hi Asshole!