And Now...Some Leper Jokes
Saturday, May 9, 2009 at 4:11PM 
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Why aren’t there telethons for lepers?
Because Jerry Lewis thinks they’re gross and would rather hog all the money for his crippled “kids.”
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What did the Irish bartender say when he was told he had leperosy?
Motherfucker!
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What happened when the leper tried to lick the stamp?
The stamp remained dry because the leper’s tongue had fallen off the day before, so he had to rub it on the inside of his cheek to moisten the stamp. Then he successfully mailed the letter. Hooray for you Mr. Leper! Good for you.
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What did the Boy Scout say when the leper walked up to his troop’s campsite?
Hi Leper!
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How much does a leper prostitute charge for a blowjob?
An arm and a leg.
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One potato, two potato, three potato...leper!
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How many leper’s does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A lot because their arms keep falling off and it’s really hard to screw in a light bulb with your feet, which may be falling off soon too. The life of a leper is rough stuff, and often lived in the dark! I’m sorry poor lepers! Boo hoo for you.
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A priest, a rabbi and a leper walk into a bar. After a drink, the priest and the rabbi walk out. The leper doesn’t because his legs have fallen off. Whoops-a-doozy, tootie froozy! Cheers Mr. Leper man. I’d buy you a drink if I was there, but I’m glad I’m not, because you’re a leper.
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Did you hear about the leper pickpocket?
Neither did I.
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A graduate with a science degree asks, “Why does it work?”
The graduate with an engineering degree asks, “How does it work?”
The graduate with an accounting degree asks, “How much will it cost?”
The leper asks, “Why me God, why me?” Over and over. And that shit gets old!
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A young leper with the unfortuate name of Johnny Fuckerfaster was fucking his girlfriend under the porch of his house. All of a sudden his mom came out on the porch and yelled, “Johnny Fuckerfaster, Johnny Fuckerfaster!” And Johnny Fuckerfaster yelled back, “I can’t mom, my dick just fell off.”
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Why did the leper cross the road?
Because his legs hadn’t fallen off yet.
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What do you call a leper who can suck a golf ball through fifty feet of garden hose?
A leper.
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“So what’s the news?” asked Fred when the doctor called with his test results.
“I have some bad news and some really bad news,” admitted the doctor. “The bad news is you only have about six months to live.”
“Oh my God,” gasped Fred, sinking to his knees. “What could be worse news than that?”
“You have leperosy,” The doctor told him.
“Motherfucker,” Fred said and then burst into sobs.
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There once was a leper from Nantucket,
Who’s pussy was as big as a bucket,
She was a leper,
She was a leper,
So, you know, aw fuck it.
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What’s the difference between E.T. and a leper?
E.T. wanted to phone home and a leper is just depressed that he or she is a leper.
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How can you tell when a leper’s girlfriend is having an orgasm?
Her ears fall off.
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Why are lepers like paper cups?
They’re really not, come to think of it. Sorry for asking.
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Reader Comments (7)
WHy did they cancel the leper hockey game?
Because there was a face-off at center ice.
what do you call a retarded leper? a leopard!
What do you call a leper that can suck a golfball through 50 feet of garden hose? Zager and Evans!
Went out with a leper girl. Got a piece of ass. Wrapped it. Took it home to eat later.
My mother had leprosy.
And she never, ever spelled it "leperosy."
Curse you, JoeyD! That was my one and only leper joke, and you beat me to it.
For the past two years, Britain's Jean Driscoll, 72, has been studied by two doctors and three hospitals' staffs, but so far no one knows why she belches constantly every day. "I don't go out anymore," she said. "People laugh and stare at me. One man said, 'Can't you control that?'"