Okay, for those of you keeping score, I’ve summarized the first three decades I was alive. The ‘50’s, ‘60’s and ‘70s. I used links to form a bit of a time capsule for the ‘60’s and ‘70’s, but I’m getting bored with this whole thing, so I thought I’d wrap up all three decades today, just using my personal memories. And so, here we go.
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The 1980’s
The first memory that pops into my head is that John Lennon got shot. I have a weird memory of it too. I was all fucked up that night on booze and drugs, I can’t remember exactly what, but I was really fucked up.
I woke up the morning after to get ready for work and thought to myself, “What a weird dream I had. Moon called and told me that someone had shot John Lennon.”
Then I went back to brushing my teeth, taking a shower and trying to shake off my hangover. After I got dressed I stumbled into the kitchen in my apartment, got a diet Coke and turned on the TV to the Today Show.
I can’t remember who was announcing it, but I remember standing there in shock as they reported about John Lennon being shot in front of the Dakota.
“But that was just a fucking dream,” I said out loud. After a few minutes of confusion, I finally realized Moon called me in my drunken/drugged-out stupor and gave me the news. Then I passed out and that morning I thought I had dreamt it. Sadly, I didn’t.
Someone shot John Lennon. I couldn’t believe it. I drank my diet Coke, watched the news and then drove to work in a kind of state of shock. John Lennon was dead. Although I have to be truthful here, I did think Double Fantasy kind of sucked eggs.
Other notable things that happened for me in the ‘80’s were that I got married. And then I got divorced. The lesson I learned here was this: Don’t get married again.
I also remember the birth of MTV. I sat at my brother Jim’s apartment and we watched it for about 20 hours in a row and were amazed by a 24 TV station that played nothing but music videos.
Another thing that happened in the ‘80’s was that I got a job as a film stripper. It was at a company my dad worked at, Fleming Potter. If you don’t know what a film stripper is, I’m not going to explain it, because computers killed the trade in the ‘90s. I remember when I got my union card, my boss said to me, “Congratulations, you’ll always be able to find a job now.” I’d like to find that motherfucker today and kick him sqare in the balls.
The biggest thing that happened for me in the ‘80s was that I discovered I liked to write and that people would actually read something I had written. You can find all my projects from back then in the Products section of the show, but basically it went from a satire of Trivial Pursuit, to some joke books and eventually, by 1989 I was publishing and editing my own magazine, POP. And I was writing a lot of columns and features for it.
And that takes us right into...
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The 1990’s
I published and edited my magazine, POP from 1989 to 1993 and I lost all the money I had made from the Idiot Trivia game on it. But I always tell people it was worth it, because in those three years I really learned to write, edit and do page layout, so it was the equivalent of my college. The only problem was that by 1993 I was broke.
Most people would’ve tried to use this experience to maybe get a job with the local paper or maybe get a job doing copy writing for a local ad agency or something. I had other plans. I cashed in my pension plan money (over 20 grand) and moved to New York City on July 7th, 1993.
It was the best thing I ever did in my life.
While I didn’t get a dream job at a magazine like I hoped, I did get articles published in New York Newsday, NY Daily News, NY Post, Time Out New York, Manhattan Spirit, NY Press, Gadfly magazine and others. I could officially claim to be a New York writer.
But freelance writing wasn’t paying the bills, so I got a night job which did pay the bills. After awhile the thrill of a NY byline had disappeared and it would bug me when a copy editor fiddled with my words and took out jokes and sentences they deemed not fit for their audience. Since my night job was paying my bills, I was kind of itching to do something else on my own and baboom, fishwrap was born.
My magazine fishwrap made fun of mainstream magazines and media and I had a lot of fun with it. You can read more about it here—fishwrap.
By the end of the decade I was kind of burned out and decided to stop publication of POP. The magazine had kind of run its course and magazines had become so dumbed down it was like making fun of a retard. Kind of fun for a minute or two, but then it gets to be a little sickening.
I took a long nap, continued to work my night job and then it was...
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The 2000’s
I just kind pissed away the first year of this decade. I had busted my ass for seven years and just took it easy and enjoyed New York for a year.
In 2001 I was itching to do another project. I had decided to write a book called “99 Beers Off The Wall” and my friend Joe Freedman thought it was a good idea and offered to publish it and design it.
I went out for one week and drank 99 beers in 99 bars and took notes of the bars and of funny things that happened in my travels. I started on Sunday, September 2nd and finished on Saturday, September 8th. On the 9th I wrote the introduction and on the 10th I started the first chapter. I was really on a roll and felt great about everything.
The next day was September 11th and everything changed. I don’t want to write about the rest of this, stink-ass, god-fucking-awful decade because nothing good really happened and I’m not going to dwell on that shit. I’m just going to shine on it and let go of it.
Really looking back, this was the only decade in my life that was pretty fucking horrible all the way through. So I’m grateful I was born when I was. I got to witness the ‘60’s as a kid, do tons of drugs in the ‘70’s, I discovered writing in the ‘80’s and in the ‘90’s I became a full-fledged New Yorker. So all in all it’s been a pretty good run. I really can’t complain, I’ve had a lot of fun in my life. I’m just going to put this decade behind me and work on having a better one next year.
I’m taking a holiday break till January 4th, so have a great holiday season and have tons of funs everyones!
Cheers, Motherfuckers!
Monday, January 11, 2010 at 12:54PM 
