One Of My Favorite Things

My Cross-Eyed Jesus night light! You gotta love the Cross-Eyed Jesus. The son of bitch cures lepors, helps the lame walk, refuses to stick his holy dick in that slut Mary Magdalene’s joy hole, yet refuses to fix own crossed-eyeballs. What a selfless, charitable son of a bitch!

I bought him at the 99 Cent store on 14th Street. The store is closed, but Cross-Eyed Jesus lives on!

This Just In...

The band America has finally stopped traveling through the desert on a
horse with no name. They are currently heading towards midtown in a cab
driven by a driver named Accchmysoxolllyn. And in a related story Sister
Golden Hair has legally changed her name to Sister Golden Shower. Hey,
whatever floats your boat sweetheart. I’m here to report, not to judge.

And now back to the Marty Wombacher Show, already in progress.

I Didn’t Sign Up For This Quiz

Okay, this is a quiz using sign language. Below is a sign language chart and below that are the charts that provide the letters to today’s answer. And here’s the question:

In 1969 police arrested a man police arrested a man who they claimed was responsible for multiple murders, yet he didn’t kill anyone. The Beach Boys recorded one of this man’s songs, but didn’t give him a songwriting credit. Name the man using letters from the sign chart below. The winner gets their choice of a lovely snack from my company’s snack machine. If no one wins, then I will purchase and enjoy a lovely snack.

Name This Man Using The Sign Chart:
(Note: The letter “A” is used twice, once in his first name and once in his last, the letter S is used twice, also once in his first name and once in his last name and the letter "N" is used twice in his last name.)

It’s Wednesday!

First off, thanks to all of you for visitng my new website and leaving comments, it’s off to a great start and I appreciate it! If you haven’t checked it out, then get over there now, goddammit! Here’s the link: dothesejeansmakemybuttlookfat.com.

I’ve got a fun show lined up today, I’ll be writing about my cross-eyed Jesus night light, I’ve got a new I Didn’t Sign Up For This Quiz and the prize is a delicious snack item! And there’s lots more stuff. Daily Photo and Condensed Gossip will be up within minutes so you know the drill, stay tuned or check the red updates at the bottom of the Home Page.

And speaking of the Home Page, “Boris’” work today is a real classic! One of your best Daddio! Stop by the Home Page art page and leave “Boris” a comment if you can, his artwork is essential to this show! And remember he’s available for freelance artwork, just send me an email and I will forward it along.

And now, on with the show!

Closing Credits

Produced, directed and written by Marty Wombacher

Theme song and announcer: Slim Volume

Resident artist: “Boris”

Contributing Writers (Comments section, listed in order of comment):
Professor Dungpie, Fountainhead of Enlightenment!
biff
grompf
Zioum Zioum the Chainsaw
Joey D
Gene1
JHwang
Marty (Louisville)
MOTHERFUCKER

Thanks for tuning in and contributing everyone, we’ll see you tomorrow at THE MARTY WOMBACHER SHOW!

And Now A Word From Our (Fake) Sponsor

Crossbreeding

I crossed a Greek statue with a guy who chopped off his wife’s head and got Homer Simpson.

Ted End

I don't know, the last person Teddy Boy said this to was Mary Jo Kopechne and look what happened to her!

Squeal of Fortune Winner!

Joey D wins The Squeal of Fortune again! Thanks also to biff, Jason Hwang, Gene1 and Professor Dugnpie for chiming in.

Joey DFear Strikes Out was based on Jimmy Piersall’s biography of the same name. Anthony Perkins portrayed the baseball player and three years later he played another kooky fellow when Alfred Hitchcock cast him as Norman Bates in the film Psycho. Below is the original trailor for the movie, Fear Strikes Out:

Congratulations to blah and we’ll see you next time on...SQUEAL OF FORTUNE!

Commentator Corner

Jaws the Cabbie isn’t a frequent commentator here at the show, but he stops by now and again and yesterday he sent me some art he made for my brand new website, Do These Jeans Make My Butt Look Big, but since I only put up real life photos there, I thought I’d make it the Commentator Corner of the day. Thanks Jaws!

Jaws has a book out called Two Fisted Driving Tales, if you liked Bernie X from the National Lampoon, you’ll love the book, check it out here:

Two Fisted Driving Tales