Squeal of Fortune!

This is a game I’m going to post every now and again. Basically it’s kind of like Wheel of Fortune, sans Vanna White, Pat Sajak and cash and prizes. And contestants and a wheel. And a studio audience.

Below I’m putting a sentence with some letters left blank and a clue. The first person to correctly fill in the blanks in the comments section wins. I’ll post their name later on in the day and they can squeal for joy and/or like a pig.

Okay, here’s the clue:

This is the first sentence from a book that came out in 1971. It’s a drug-fueled novel that has been noted as being one of the first docuements to offically acknowledge the end of the sixties.

We  w—r—  som—w——re  aro——d  —a—stow  on  the  e——e  of  the  d——ert  —h—n  the  ——u—s  be—an  to  t——e  h——d.

I’ll announce the winner and the answer tomorrow, if there is one. So you’ve got that to look forward to. Woo and hoo.

Daily Poll

Blue Monday

The above picture says it all. I need some diet Mountain Dew. Soon there will be the Daily Picture, then Condensed Gossip and well, you know the drill. Check back often, the Home Page will direct you to new updates as they happen. Monday morning...blahhhhh.

Daily Video

Denis Leary Asshole

Denis Leary was one of my first star sightings in New York when I moved out here in 1993. I had pitched an idea to do a story about a local clown in Manhattan who did high-end children’s parties. His name was David Friedman but his clown name was Silly Billy and I went to three of the parties where he entertained and one of them was at a pizza place on the Upper West Side. The person having it was a Vice President at Comedy Central and Denis Leary was doing some specials for them at the time. We go to the party and I look over and there’s Denis Leary sitting with his wife and kids. After Silly Billy did his act, Denis Leary when up to him and started asking him what he charged and other things and he was just like he is in his comedy acts kind of like he’s got a little too much caffeine in him. I remember him asking Silly Billy over and over that if he hired him he had to bring enough balloons for every kid. It was like, “Now every kid has to get a balloon, I don’t want you showing up and then half the kids don’t get a balloon. You will have a balloon for every kid, right?” It just cracked me up how he was grilling him about it. Maybe you had to be there, anyway, here’s Denis Leary doing his song, “Asshole.”

Sunday Rock and Roll Quiz

1.) They called him “Mellow Yellow” in the ‘60’s, but what do they call Donovan these days?

A. Smellhole fellow

B. Homeless and broke

C. Currently residing in the “where are they now” file

D. Burt


2.) Axl Rose’s real name is:

A. Bill Baileysirishcream

B. Axl Sharpton

C. Axl Baldwin

D. Chuck Roast


3.) If you play “Pleasant Valley Sunday” by the Monkees backwards, you will hear the following message:

A. “Turn me off live woman.”

B. “Pumpkin pie filling.”

C. “Buy White Out, it’s really a help in the office and home!”

D. “Fuck the dog, I’m gonna buy me a frog!”


4.) I know a cat named Way Out Willie.

A. Big fucking deal!

B. Eat shit and live, motherfucker!

C. Numbskull!

D. You got a problem with me?


5.) Sid Vicious’ real name was John Beverly. Who gave him his punk rock name?

A. A man on a flaming pie.

B. A pie on a flaming man.

C. Nicole Richie on an overheated Twinkie.

D. Way Out Willie.


6.) Simon and Garfunkel originally performed under the following stage names:

A. Tom and Harry

B. Harry and Belafonte

C. Harryup

D. Hare Krishna


7.) Joey Ramone suffered from:

A. Obsessive Compulsive Disorder

B. Drug and alcohol problems

C. Cancer

D. Johnny Ramone


8.) What is Cat Stevens real name?

A. Osama Bin Laden

B. Saddam Hussein

C. Axl Baldwin

D. Way Out Willie


9.) Why did Peter Gabriel shock the monkey?

A. He’s a mean fellow.

B. To get to the other side.

C. To get on MTV to sell some records and pay his rent.

D. He mistakenly thought the monkey was Phil Collins.


10.) In Neil Young’s song, “After the Gold Rush” he sings that, “There were drummers...”:

A. Humming

B. Slumming

C. Chumming

D. Jerking off Stephen Stills because Neil’s hand had a cramp in it.


11.) John Mellencamp originally was known as John Cougar because:

A. He was desperate.

B. He was short.

C. He was desperate and short.

D. Mellencamp sounds like a summer retreat for fruit farmers.


12.) The song “Live and Let Die” is really about:

A. Living

B. Letting

C. Dying

D. Way Out Willie

Answers: There are no correct answers because in the long run there is only rock. And then, of course, there is roll.

------------------------

daily poll

Sunday Morning...

...sucks. Who the fuck invented morning, anyway? Probably that asshole, Lou Reed. Take a walk on the wild side, motherfucker!

Daily Video

This is a clip of the Faces I posted on facebook about a week ago. People forget what a great fucking band this was. It’s before Rod Stewart got cheesy and it was a band of great players. Ron Wood on guitar and vocals; Kenny Jones on drums; Ronnie Lane on bass and vocals and Ian McLagan on piano, organ and vocals. This band influenced most of the punk rock bands that followed them and they were the booziest band in rock and roll’s history. Their last tour they even had a bartender with a full bar onstage with the band. How great is that? Ladies and gentlemen, raise your drinks up for the Faces!

Lunch With Famous Dead People

This Episode Starring: Anton Chekhov!

Anton Chekhov was a Russian short story writer and playwright. I’ve never read any of his crap, but it’s supposed to be real good stuff, you know, whatever, I just don’t have the time, I’ve got my own shit to do. The thing that DOES impress me about this guy however though is that in the mid-sixties he starred as Mr. Chekhov in the original Star Trek TV series. And Anton Chekhov died in 1904! Talk about breaking a leg! This guy busted his life! Anyway as a kid I was a big Star Trek fan and Chekhov was one of my favorite characters so I thought I would arrange a luncheon date with this Russian thespian!

I contacted his people and they got back to me (I don’t have people) and a lunch was scheduled at the Waverly Diner on Sixth Ave. I arrived at 1:00 pm the scheduled time and shortly after that Mr. Chekhof arrived and sat across from me in our booth. I ordered a grilled cheese with french fries extra well done, while Chekhov wisely opted for a tuna melt and a baked potato with cheese and the following conversation ensued over lunch.

------------------------------------------------------------

Marty: Alright Mr. Chekhov, I’m not going to pull any punches my friend, I’m going to ask the tough question right out of the starting gate: After Star Trek went off the air, did you feel that you had been typecast?

Chekhov: Pardon me?

Marty: You know was it tough to get work after Star Trek was cancelled? I mean, you were so heavily identified as that character.

Chekhov: I don’t understand. I am not playing a character, I AM Chekhov!

Marty: Wow, you really stay in character for a long time, that series was cancelled like decades ago! You’re cool!

Chekhov: (Narrowing eyes) Who do you think I am?

Marty: Walter Koenig, the guy who played Chekhov on Star Trek.

Chekhov: (Angrily) Numbskull! I am Anton Chekhov! The great Russian writer!

Marty: Wow, you’re kind of full of yourself aren’t you? Well la-de-fucking-da! Sheesh! Yeah I’m a writer too. And see that jerk-off in the booth over there, I bet he’s a writer as well, I bet our waiter is a writer too. Everybody’s a fucking writer these days. What, do you have a blog too? Oh and if you’re on MySpace, I don’t have any room for you on my top page...and I’ve really got all the MySpace friends I care to have, so don’t take it personally if I don’t add you.

Chekhov: You idiot! I am a world famous drama and short story writer! I’ve written plays. Haven’t you ever heard of Uncle Vanya, The Three Sisters, The Cherry Orchard or the Seagull? These are all plays I have written!

Marty: You know I have heard of that Seagull one...but I thought that was one of those Rod McKuen deals.

Chekhov: You simple-minded fool! My plays realistically explore the frustrations and unhappiness of life, particularly among the Russian rural upper and middle classes of my time. Anyone vaguely familiar with modern literature respects my work and knows who I am! (Gets out of booth and angrily walks towards the door in the diner.) I’ve had enough of your foolishness you simple minded lout, I’m leaving! Good day you idiot!

Marty: Alright comrade, sneeze ya later, alligator! Ha ha ha! Hey, can I have the rest of your tuna melt...

------------------------------------------------------------

Stay tuned to for another fun-filled, action packed, patent-pending, “Lunch With Famous Dead People!” coming up real soon, when I can’t think of any other crap to put on here.

------------------------------------------------------------

Daily Poll