Lunch With Famous Dead People
Saturday, May 30, 2009 at 12:59PM This Episode Starring: Anton Chekhov!
Anton Chekhov was a Russian short story writer and playwright. I’ve never read any of his crap, but it’s supposed to be real good stuff, you know, whatever, I just don’t have the time, I’ve got my own shit to do. The thing that DOES impress me about this guy however though is that in the mid-sixties he starred as Mr. Chekhov in the original Star Trek TV series. And Anton Chekhov died in 1904! Talk about breaking a leg! This guy busted his life! Anyway as a kid I was a big Star Trek fan and Chekhov was one of my favorite characters so I thought I would arrange a luncheon date with this Russian thespian!
I contacted his people and they got back to me (I don’t have people) and a lunch was scheduled at the Waverly Diner on Sixth Ave. I arrived at 1:00 pm the scheduled time and shortly after that Mr. Chekhof arrived and sat across from me in our booth. I ordered a grilled cheese with french fries extra well done, while Chekhov wisely opted for a tuna melt and a baked potato with cheese and the following conversation ensued over lunch.
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Marty: Alright Mr. Chekhov, I’m not going to pull any punches my friend, I’m going to ask the tough question right out of the starting gate: After Star Trek went off the air, did you feel that you had been typecast?
Chekhov: Pardon me?
Marty: You know was it tough to get work after Star Trek was cancelled? I mean, you were so heavily identified as that character.
Chekhov: I don’t understand. I am not playing a character, I AM Chekhov!
Marty: Wow, you really stay in character for a long time, that series was cancelled like decades ago! You’re cool!
Chekhov: (Narrowing eyes) Who do you think I am?
Marty: Walter Koenig, the guy who played Chekhov on Star Trek.
Chekhov: (Angrily) Numbskull! I am Anton Chekhov! The great Russian writer!
Marty: Wow, you’re kind of full of yourself aren’t you? Well la-de-fucking-da! Sheesh! Yeah I’m a writer too. And see that jerk-off in the booth over there, I bet he’s a writer as well, I bet our waiter is a writer too. Everybody’s a fucking writer these days. What, do you have a blog too? Oh and if you’re on MySpace, I don’t have any room for you on my top page...and I’ve really got all the MySpace friends I care to have, so don’t take it personally if I don’t add you.
Chekhov: You idiot! I am a world famous drama and short story writer! I’ve written plays. Haven’t you ever heard of Uncle Vanya, The Three Sisters, The Cherry Orchard or the Seagull? These are all plays I have written!
Marty: You know I have heard of that Seagull one...but I thought that was one of those Rod McKuen deals.
Chekhov: You simple-minded fool! My plays realistically explore the frustrations and unhappiness of life, particularly among the Russian rural upper and middle classes of my time. Anyone vaguely familiar with modern literature respects my work and knows who I am! (Gets out of booth and angrily walks towards the door in the diner.) I’ve had enough of your foolishness you simple minded lout, I’m leaving! Good day you idiot!
Marty: Alright comrade, sneeze ya later, alligator! Ha ha ha! Hey, can I have the rest of your tuna melt...
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Stay tuned to for another fun-filled, action packed, patent-pending, “Lunch With Famous Dead People!” coming up real soon, when I can’t think of any other crap to put on here.
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Reader Comments (4)
hey, ive heard of that seagull one too. wasn't it about some birds? and wasn't it called jonathon livingston seagull. required reading in the 8th grade.
Thank you Marty.........I feel as if i have learned nothing by reading this in depth, hard hitting interview!
that guy's face looks like a cross between kevin kline and muff.
I've seen the "Seagull" three times by three different troupes; I still couldn't tell you what the freak happened besides me getting very bored. I prefer my Chekhovs on to be on board the Enterprise and far away from pen and paper.