Daily Video

Mean Kitty

Notice how Kitty hides his puss Jesus Hole with his arm and paw. Good pussy!

And Now A Word From Our (Fake) Sponsor

What if...

What if Dilbert liked to shove cans of tuna fish sideways up his asshole? I think the results would go a little something like this:

Commentator Corner

Welcome to Commentator Corner. If you’re a commentator at the Marty Wombacher Show, feel free to send me images, writings, thoughts, photos, whatever. You’re a part of the show and I’m happy to spotlight your creativity.

In addition to leaving great comments and introducing the phrase, “Jesus Hole” to all of us, Zioum Zioum the Chainsaw is also a very talented painter and artist. Here’s her latest painting titled, “Who Are You?” and she told me it’s inspired by the Pink Floyd song, “Chilodhood’s End.” And Zioum Zioum told me there’s a secret sentence hidden within the painting. So far I haven’t figured it out, can anyone else?

Thanks for sending this Zioum Zioum and we look forward to seeing more of your artwork here at the Commentator Corner!

Zioum Zioum the Chainsaw

Squeal of Fortune!

This is a game I’m going to post every week on Mondays. Basically it’s kind of like Wheel of Fortune, sans Vanna White, Pat Sajak and cash and prizes and a wheel. And a studio audience.

Below I’m putting a sentence with some letters left blank and a clue. The first person to correctly fill in the blanks in the comments section wins. I’ll post their name tomorrow if there is one and they can squeal for joy and/or like a pig.

Okay, here’s the clue (no fair Googling!):

This is a 1979 movie that was based on a book of the same name, both were written by an ex-professional football player. The movie dealt with the dark side of professional football and while it was supposedly fictional, it’s rumored to have been based on the author’s exploits while in the NFL.

The two stars of the movie were a regular Hollywood actor and a singer/songwriter that had never appeared in a movie before.

Below name the movie and the stars:


Movie:
•or•h   D••l•s   •or•y

The Hollywood Actor:
•i•k   N••te

The Singer/Songwriter:
•ac   •a••s

F.M.I.M!

Fuck me, it’s Monday! Where did the fucking weekend go? Oh well, onward and upward and on with the show!

We’re back to the basic format for the next three weeks, so that means that including updates at the Daily Photo and Condensed Gossip momentarily, we’ve got the weekly Squeal of Fortune Contest coming up. Other updates include a Commentator Corner featuring a super cool painting by Zioum Zioum the Chainsaw, a new Dilbert strip, a fake ad and a Daily Video. And maybe more if I have time.

I love today’s Pulp Fiction Home Page artwork by our resident artist, “Boris.” Look real hard and you’ll see me stalking Uma! Great work Daddio. And let me remind you that “Boris” does freelance work and can spruce up your website, design a CD cover, produce a logo and pull a rabbit out of his sleeve. Just send me an email and I wil forward it to “Boris.”

Okay, stay tuned for the Daily Photo and Condensed Gossip or check back frequently for updates (check the links at the bottom of the Home Page.) Have a happy Monday, if that’s possible!

Closing Credits

Produced, directed and written by Marty Wombacher

Theme song and announcer: Slim Volume

Resident artist: “Boris”

Contributing Writers (Comments section, listed in order of comment):
Zioum Zioum the Chainsaw
E-Man
Professor Joey D
JHwang
Aaron
grompf
Marty (Louisville)
Gene1

Thanks for tuning in and contributing everyone, we’ll see you tomorrow at THE MARTY WOMBACHER SHOW!

Daily Video

Can We Have Our Ball Back, Mister?

This is one of my favorite scenes in “A Hard Day’s Night.” And it’s a precursor to the generation gap that would soon happen in the mid sixtties.

My brother and I used to always say this to people putting us down for being silly and carefree. And I continue to use it to this day. The other day some uptight asshole went off on me and some other people for being silly on a thread on facebook, so of course I posted, “Can I have my ball back, Mister?” And it caused him to really go nuts. “Boris” was also part of the thread!

Anyway, a splendid time is guaranteed for all. Ladies and Gentlemen, the fabulous four in, “A Hard Day’s Night.”

TV Listings

The Andy Griffith Show
Andy is steamed when he learns that Barney and Aunt Bea have joined the Klan and have been brutally executing negroes in Raliegh.

My Three Sons
Uncle Charlie loses his recipe for Key Lime Pie while Robbie tortures a crippled child.

Lou Dobbs Moneyline
Unnatural acts with a piggy bank.

Seinfeld (CC)
Kramer drugs Elaine and has violent sex with her. Jerry and George masturbate uncontrollably.

Womens’ Golf (CC)
Lesbians compete for cash prizes.

Clifford the Big Red Dog
A group of drunken teenagers accidentally run over Clifford and kill him.

Matlock--Drama
Matlock (Andy Griffith) buys a male hooker (Claude Akins) and later gets drunk while watching the Discovery Channel.

Flintsones--Cartoon
Wilma puts poison in Fred’s Brontasaurus stew and then uses the insurance money to go on a shopping spree with Betty.

Malcolm in the Middle (CC)
A depressed Malcolm commits suicide.

Punk’d--Comedy
Seth Green thinks he’s going to the dentist to get a tooth pulled only to learn later that his testicles were removed when the Punk’d dentist put him under. Host: Ashton Kutcher

Friends (CC)--Comedy
Rachel reveals that she’s only “friends” with the other assholes in the cast because she makes a million dollars an episode. Kathy Griffin guest stars as a rude, yet loveable waitress.

Welcome Back Kotter
The Sweathogs kidnap Mr. Kotter (Gabe Kaplan), tie him up and make him watch while they repeatedly rape and beat Mrs. Kotter. Horschack: Ron Pallilo

Gilligan’s Island
After being bitten by a poisonous spider, Gilligan goes insane and with the help of a sharp stick, forces Mary Ann to eat his fecal matter out of a coconut bowl. The Professor: Russell Johnson

Blind Date
Stevie Wonder accidentally blows Roger Lodge, the host of Blind Date.

Courage the Cowardly Dog
Once again, Courage spends the entire episode hiding behind the sofa.

Diagnosis Murder (CC)
No details about this episode at press time, but the diagnosis most likely will be murder. Dr. Fine: Dick Van Dyke, Dr. Fine: Dick Van Patton, Dr. Fine: Mario Van Peebles.

King of Queens (CC)
Doug finds out he has a rare kidney disease and his doctor gives him three to six months to live.

Supermarket Sweep
A documentary showing former child star Gary Coleman at work.

Dick Van Dyke--Comedy
Rob trips over that gosh-darned ottoman yet again. Later, in a fit of uncontrolled rage, he shoots and kills Laura and Richie and then turns the gun on himself. Buddy Sorrell: Morey Amsterdam.

The Brady Bunch
Chaos reigns as the Manson Family visit the Brady’s for a week. Charles “Tex” Watson, starring as himself, gets the wackiness rolling right off the bat as he carves an unborn fetus out of Marcia’s impregnated belly. Alice: Ann B. Davis. Charles Manson: Rob Reiner

That ’70s Show
Eric and Fez discover buttplugs.

Cheers (CC)
Norm drinks himself into a stupor and then shits himself.

Commentator Corner

Welcome to Commentator Corner. If you’re a commentator at the Marty Wombacher Show, feel free to send me images, writings, thoughts, photos, whatever. You’re a part of the show and I’m happy to spotlight your creativity.

Joey Delgado (Joey D) is today’s spotlit Commentator and he has a knack for finding freaky animals on the roadside of the internet highway. Here’s his third entry from his Zombie-Woof Zoo collection that he’s sharing with us. This one shows Kermit sharing his Jesus Hole with the world! It ain’t easy being green! To the Kermit Jesus Hole!

Thanks Joey, keep the Zombie-Woof images coming (pun intendended.)

Joey D