Hamilton, Joe Frank and Reynolds
Monday, August 17, 2009 at 3:47PM ------------------------------------------
Hamilton, Joe Frank and Reynolds--My Little Trio of Obsession
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I obsess over things becaue I can. One of my many obsessions is the singing trio collectively known as Hamilton, Joe Frank and Reynolds. Nary a day goes by that I don’t think about these fellows and here are a few of the thoughts that have passed through my grey matter regarding this singing trio.
Most people think of Hamilton, Joe Frank and Reynolds as one-hit wonders and that really steams my buns! They had TWO hits, one in 1971 with their smashtrastic song, “Don’t Pull Your Love,” (I always suspected that song was about the poor man's means of birth control) and another in 1975 with the equally endearing and somewhat hypnotic tune, “Fallin’ In Love.” It appears, that all Hamilton, Joe Frank and Reynolds needed was love (in the title of a song), to have a Billboard certified smash tune. I, for one, “love” it!
I’ve always been curious about their names. Hamilton and Reynolds were bonafide one-named beings in the grand tradition of Cher, Charo and Walgreens. And Joe Frank had two names, but both of them were first names. Now if that isn’t irony squared to the seventh power brothers and sisters, well, I’ll eat a baker’s dozen cheese biscuits from Red Lobster and then throw up all over the waitress after drinking fifteen of their specialty drinks (sometimes you get to keep the glass, other times I just steal them.)
And I wonder in times when they were just hanging out, drinking, snorting cocaine, exploring each other in their respective assholes with electric cattle prods, enjoying Pixie Sticks and marveling at themselves in the nude, did they refer to Hamilton, as “Ham?” And was Reynolds named after aluminum wrap? Curious questions that remain unanswered and haunt me in the middle of many a sleepless night, while laying in a fetal position, covered in sweat and sobbing ever-so softly.
Also, why didn’t they seek out a speech therapist? It’s emabarrasingly obvious in the song, “Fallin’ In Love,” that none of them could pronounce the letter “L.” “Baby, baby, fawwin’ in love, I’m fawwin’ in love with you.” (Another mysterious sidebar here is that they enunciated the “L” in “love” perfectly. Curious fellows, these Hamilton, Joe Frank and Reynolds!) The fact that the song was a hit in light of such an obvious crippling speech impediment is further testimony to the genius of the singing trio of Hamilton, Joe Frank and Reynolds. I remember once when I was sixteen years old and I was with this loser girl I had fed a bunch of liquor and drugs to in hopes that I would get a little action, in the heat of the moment I said, “Baby, I’m think I’m fawwin’ in love with you.” I was hoping she’d get the reference and take her shirt off. But instead she told me to take my hands out of her pants and she ended up in the backseat of some football player’s car. Drunk as a skunk on my liquor. High as a kite on my drugs. Whore.
Well, I could go on and on and it appears that I have, but I’ve got to run. Edison Lighthouse just came on the radio and I’m going to go where their Rosemary goes. I heard she’s a dirty little slut, maybe she’ll put out.
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Reader Comments (4)
LMAO! I forgot about these guys! Funny one, Marty!
i'm glad you obsess over things, because then i get to read about them! great thoughts, marty!
"Joe Frank had two names, but both of them were first names." --> HAHAHA
"I’ll eat a baker’s dozen cheese biscuits from Red Lobster and then throw up all over the waitress after drinking fifteen of their specialty drinks" --> Hilarous! LMAO
"why didn’t they seek out a speech therapist?" --> LMFAO !!!
And about this loser girl --------> GREEDY WHORE !
I LOVE THIS ARTICLE !!!!! Very funny :D
TO MARTY !
Motherfucker! This one made me spit half of my second beer all over my computer! I'm surprised that song had such an impact on you! I guess you were not alone because that piece of shit song was on the radio all the fuckin time and played in my head constantly! Just like You're so Vain..........it took me years to get that one out of my head! And now this Don't pull your pork out on me baby is back in rotation in my head once again because of your weird fascination with douchebag, has been rockers! Don't even think of writing something on the ....Five Man Electrical Band! I would not be able to live through a year of ...Signs.......playing in my head again!