Humor In Whores
Thursday, August 13, 2009 at 4:54PM 
Blonde Whore
A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a whore and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do.
"Well, you can eat my wife’s blue pussy. How much will you charge?"
The blonde said, "How about 50 dollars?"
The man agreed and told her to wait right there and when he came back with the money she was gone. A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money.
"Where did you go?" he asked.
“Right after you went to get your money, I saw your wife’s pussy running towards the back yard, so I caught it and ate it. Oh and by the way, it’s not blue and it looked kind of like a racoon. It tasted like chicken!
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The Ostrich Whore
A man walks up to the bar with an ostrich behind him, and as he sits, the bartender asks for their order. The man says, "I'll have a beer" and turns to the ostrich. "What's yours?" "I'll have a beer too" says the ostrich. The bartender pours the beer and says "That will be $3.40 please," and the man reaches into his pocket and pays with the exact change for payment.
The next day, the man and the ostrich come again, and the man says "I'll have a beer," and the ostrich says "I'll have the same." Once again the man reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change.
This became a routine until late one evening, the two enter again. "The usual?" asks the bartender."Well, it's close to last call, so I'll have a large Scotch" says the man. "Same for me" says the ostrich. "That will be $7.20" says the bartender. Once again the man pulls exact change out of his pocket and places it on the bar.
The bartender can't hold back his curiosity any longer. "Excuse me, sir. How do you manage to always come up with the exact change out of your pocket every time?"
"Well," says the man, "several years ago I was cleaning the attic and I found this old lamp. When I rubbed it a Genie appeared and offered me two wishes. My first wish was that if I ever needed to pay for anything, I just put my hand in my pocket and the right amount of money will be there."
"That's brilliant!" says the bartender. "Most people would wish for a million dollars or something, but you'll always be as rich as you want for as long as you live!"
"That's right! Whether it's a gallon of milk, or a Rolls Royce, the exact money is always there," says the man.
"That's fantastic!" says the bartender. "You are a genius! ... Oh, one other thing sir, what's with the ostrich?"
The man replies, "Oh, my second wish was for an ostrich whore. It’s an expensive animal to fuck, but I’ve got the cash!"
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Selling the Whore
A drunk walked into a bar crying. One of the other men in the bar asked him what happened.
"I did a terrible thing," sniffed the drunk, "Just a few hours ago I sold my wife to someone for a bottle of Southern Comfort."
"That is awful," said the other guy, "And now that she is gone you want her back right?"
"Right!" said the drunk, still crying.
"You're sorry you sold her because you realised, too late, that you still loved her, right?"
"Oh, No," said the drunk. I want her back because she’s a whore and she makes really good money. What the fuck was I thinkng?"
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I Thought You Were My Whore
A completely inebriated man walked into a bar and, after staring for some time at the only woman seated at the bar, walked over to her, placed his hand up her skirt and began fondling her. She jumped up and slapped him silly.
He immediately apologized and explained, "I'm sorry. I thought you were my whore. You look exactly like her."
"Why you drunken, worthless, insufferable son of a BITCH!" she screamed.
"Okay, okay, here’s fifty bucks if you shut up," he offered.
“For a hundred I’ll suck you off,” the woman countered.
“Deal!,” the drunk happily retorted.
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Reader Comments (4)
haha! I love the one with the ostrich whore! TO OSTRICH WHORE ! :D
TO OSTRICH WHORE !
"Blue pussy." LMFAO!
To the ostrich whore!
WTF did I just read?