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[biff]

let me guess...she's american.

[Professor Dungpie, Fountainhead of Enlightenment]

I don't like to make fun of women with one nipple but this fat poundcake is asking for it! I bet there is a happy meal wedged in between her tits! I love you Poundcake!

[Michelle Ruffin-Stein]

Overweight Blonde
A blonde is so terribly overweight she decides to go to her doctor who puts her on a diet. "I want you to eat regularly for two days, then skip a day, and repeat this procedure for two weeks. The next time I see you, you'll have lost at least five pounds."

When the blonde returns, she's lost nearly 20 pounds. "Why, that's amazing!" the doctor says. "Did you follow my instructions?"

The blonde nods. "I'll tell you, though, I thought I was going to drop dead that third day."

"From hunger, you mean?" asked the doctor.

"No.. from skipping."