Beer Frame
Wednesday, May 13, 2009 at 2:25AM 
I got on Twitter about a year ago and I may be wrong, but I think it’s reached it’s peak. If you don’t know about Twitter, it’s a pretty simple concept, there’s a status bar and you can update it as much as you want, but you can only use 140 characters.
I used to post things once or twice a day, now I pretty much just promote this website there. I was just on my page there and looking at some of my old “Tweets,” and thought I’d share them with you. Ready, set, Twitter:
Yo Ho Ho: Pirate speak or a greeting when Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie show up at your door?
I just heard Oprah's on Twitter now. Does that mean we all get a free car? If so, I'm selling mine, I don't have a driver's license.
Twitter, MySpace and facebook: The trifecta of time-wasters.
This just in: Rikki just lost that number. Steely Dan: bummed.
Sites blocked where I work: MySpace, facebook, Twitter and all porn sites...so what do they expect me to do for eight hours there? Sheesh!
Catchphrase that would be used by Chef Boy R Dee if he was president: "Yes we Cannelloni!"
I'm going to get a big salad at the deli, from the man who speaks no English there. To get the proper ingredients it's almost like charades.
Invented new drink: Tomato Juice, Gravy and Beer. It's a Rosey Greer. And it's delicious.
I'm wondering if orphans are repulsed or attracted to Dad's Root Beer?
The best thing about online porn is your family can't find it after you die.
I live on 16th Tweet. Right here in New York Twitty.
I'm whistling through life with a mouth full of crackers.
Okay, enough of that, my beer’s empty. Now it’s time to walk away from the computer and over to the refrigerator.
Cheers,
Marty
Reader Comments (2)
In March, Dominique Fisher, a "tattooist," received a probation-type sentence by Britain's Burnley Crown Court despite having carved her name and other marks with a box cutter on her new lover's body while he was passed out. She and Wayne Robinson had been on a four-day drinking binge, and he panicked when he sobered up. However, Fisher said that Robinson knew all along that she did tattoos and told him, "I thought you'd like it."
is the past tense of tweet twat?